In an effort to improve things with my spouse I have gotten the little blue pill.
I brought it up over some sushi, I did not want to offend her with the idea of using it. The trouble is, I have issues getting it up and keeping it up with her. It is all psychological, not physical. My doctor seemed to instantly understand...it seems I am not the only gentleman who has issues.
I could have kept it a secret, but I am no good at little secrets...only big ones.
When I told her she was a little flustered, she mentioned the shower scene that starts "This is Forty". I get it, I should not need it. Then she went on, she does not want hours and hours of sex. It seems like it is a marathon every time. I stayed silent and let her speak. Then she said it, "I also wonder who I am being compared to in bed, I am never enough."
I understand what she is saying and how she is feeling. I do compare her "performance" to others. She has no one but me to compare to, on her side. However, I have many.
Ideally it should not have to be a "performance", it should be love making. It used to be. I remember it well.
I stayed silent. I do not know what to say. The issue is not how hard my cock is, or how fast or slow I can cum. It is not about a performance or any visual stimulation.
It is about the loss of a connection. The loss of love.