Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I believe it is over

Many people will have no idea of what I am talking about when I say it is over between The Spinner and I.  I do not directly talk about her on this blog anymore since The Other Guy started reading my blog.  There have been long absences and some reconnection through that time and I do not want to even go into the whole story.

The important and sad and happy part is that it is finally over.  I need to move on with my life and I need to reconnect with my wife or I am going to lose my marriage.  I do not want to "abandon" her, I was hoping to help her until she got stable then just remain friends on some level or just say goodbye. 

Unfortunately I do not think that day is coming anytime soon.  I really thought that she was going to live with The Other Guy and I would never see her again.  That is what would be best for her, but she does not see it.

So, in the guilt and worry of how to say goodbye, I just made some stupid drama (I know, not very adult like).  It did not work out so well, she is that master of drama and I detest it, I was way out of my element.  In the end I just said the truth.  I need to focus on my marriage and I can't deal with the guilt anymore, I don't want a divorce and I need to pay for counseling for us.

She did not take it well, I got about 10 long texts from her, I got about 4 words into the first text and just deleted them.  They were mean, I get it, but I don't have to read it.  It is just, unfortunately, over.  I always say,

"Nothing ends well.  If it did, it would not end.  Things end painfully, so they stay ended."

Well, this ended painfully and it will stay ended.  I feel sadness, hope and promise.  Also, a little fear, I do not know how the counseling will go...

No comments:

Post a Comment