Many people will have no idea of what I am talking about when I say it is over between The Spinner and I. I do not directly talk about her on this blog anymore since The Other Guy started reading my blog. There have been long absences and some reconnection through that time and I do not want to even go into the whole story.
The important and sad and happy part is that it is finally over. I need to move on with my life and I need to reconnect with my wife or I am going to lose my marriage. I do not want to "abandon" her, I was hoping to help her until she got stable then just remain friends on some level or just say goodbye.
Unfortunately I do not think that day is coming anytime soon. I really thought that she was going to live with The Other Guy and I would never see her again. That is what would be best for her, but she does not see it.
So, in the guilt and worry of how to say goodbye, I just made some stupid drama (I know, not very adult like). It did not work out so well, she is that master of drama and I detest it, I was way out of my element. In the end I just said the truth. I need to focus on my marriage and I can't deal with the guilt anymore, I don't want a divorce and I need to pay for counseling for us.
She did not take it well, I got about 10 long texts from her, I got about 4 words into the first text and just deleted them. They were mean, I get it, but I don't have to read it. It is just, unfortunately, over. I always say,
"Nothing ends well. If it did, it would not end. Things end painfully, so they stay ended."
Well, this ended painfully and it will stay ended. I feel sadness, hope and promise. Also, a little fear, I do not know how the counseling will go...