I have a busy few weeks ahead. Traveling a few times, lots of sports, lots of coaching, lots of work, lecturing to a few big groups, lots of business decisions to make. Things seem to clump up sometimes and this is one of those times.
I am excited about everything coming up and also a little worried, I want to do well. The trick to doing well is preparation, over preparation. I never feel fully prepared for anything unless I can do it in my sleep. There is a calm that comes over me when I know that I have prepared fully. Anxiety comes from not feeling like I know what I need to know.
My problem, procrastination and mentally locking up. I do both of these, and I am not proud of either. I already feel like I am behind, I did very little this weekend to prepare. My excuse is that I had guests, however, I could have found the time to work. I also injured myself in a really stupid, stupid way. I cold have really ended my carrier in one second. I am really lucky to still have a hand, although it is rather banged up. It is feeling better but still not 100%, close call.
What is up with my life other than the business at work?
Not a whole lot.
An old friend is finally getting back on her feet this week. I am really happy for her. She deserves a bit of security in her life and I just hope she concentrates on keeping things level for a while. I enjoy knowing that she is safe.
I am in contact with the Spinner again. I did not want to leave things on a bad note. I really do love her very much and want things to work out for her. She is not with the other guy anymore, so far as I know. I really thought things would work out for them and she would leave the state. I don't want to say too much as I don't know who is reading my blog anymore and it has been used against me in the past.
I just can't abandon her. I really enjoy listening to her as she vents and figures life out. I like giving advice when asked and I like helping where I can. I also like having her as a lover and a friend. I wonder what will happen when things do finally end. Hopefully with her getting a boyfriend that treats her well or moving away to college... I want her life to turn out better than she thinks she deserves. I want her to be happy.
When things do end I will have to face the music in my own life. I don't know how well I will do at home with only my wife. I fear that when that time comes I will leave or she will leave. I just don't see how we can make it another 25 years