Monday, August 29, 2016

Monday, quiet before the storm

I have a busy few weeks ahead.  Traveling a few times, lots of sports, lots of coaching, lots of work, lecturing to a few big groups, lots of business decisions to make.  Things seem to clump up sometimes and this is one of those times.

I am excited about everything coming up and also a little worried, I want to do well.  The trick to doing well is preparation, over preparation.  I never feel fully prepared for anything unless I can do it in my sleep.  There is a calm that comes over me when I know that I have prepared fully.  Anxiety comes from not feeling like I know what I need to know.

My problem, procrastination and mentally locking up.  I do both of these, and I am not proud of either.  I already feel like I am behind, I did very little this weekend to prepare.  My excuse is that I had guests, however, I could have found the time to work.  I also injured myself in a really stupid, stupid way.  I cold have really ended my carrier in one second.  I am really lucky to still have a hand, although it is rather banged up.  It is feeling better but still not 100%, close call.

What is up with my life other than the business at work?

Not a whole lot.

An old friend is finally getting back on her feet this week.  I am really happy for her.  She deserves a bit of security in her life and I just hope she concentrates on keeping things level for a while.  I enjoy knowing that she is safe.

Other news?

I am in contact with the Spinner again.  I did not want to leave things on a bad note.  I really do love her very much and want things to work out for her.  She is not with the other guy anymore, so far as I know.  I really thought things would work out for them and she would leave the state.  I don't want to say too much as I don't know who is reading my blog anymore and it has been used against me in the past.

I just can't abandon her.  I really enjoy listening to her as she vents and figures life out.  I like giving advice when asked and I like helping where I can.  I also like having her as a lover and a friend.  I wonder what will happen when things do finally end.  Hopefully with her getting a boyfriend that treats her well or moving away to college...  I want her life to turn out better than she thinks she deserves.  I want her to be happy.

When things do end I will have to face the music in my own life.  I don't know how well I will do at home with only my wife.  I fear that when that time comes I will leave or she will leave.  I just don't see how we can make it another 25 years

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