I don't understand...

"I am going to fuck the shit out of you..."

Really...the shit out of you?  Like, literally?  Anal with mud?  Is this really what you mean to say?


"I am going to ruin your holes."

Why ruin them?  Really, I get being rough, I get how good the hard sex soreness feels great but to "ruin holes" just seems really bad.


"Hate Fuck"

I get an aggressive fucking, but a hate fuck...just sounds like rape to me...


There are others I am sure, whenever I hear these I cringe a little.  I will add more as I come across them...

The Fellatio Project - Peter's Answers

 

 

 

I like fellatio, so in an effort to support all thing fellated, I am participating in The Fellatio Project.  This is hosted on http://rebelsnotes.com/ so go there an check it out and maybe participate yourself.

 

I am choosing just to answer the questions that she has posted about fellatio...from the male perspective...well, more precisely the RECIEVING end.  I do not fellate...have not fellated...not ruling it out 100% but it would have to be one really special situation...I am straight (so far).

 

Have you always enjoyed cock-sucking or is it something that has had to develop?

 

I have always enjoyed it.  I am trying to remember my first time...I believe it was with the same girl that I lost my virginity with.  I did not get my cock sucked when I lost my virginity, I think my head would have exploded if I did.  It was later that it happened for the first time. 

We were in the hot tub and I was trying not to have sex.  I am not sure why, maybe religious guilt, but I felt we should not be playing around.  She was a real slut, slut...the kind of girl I have always been really attracted to.  We were kissing and petting and she pulled her cut off jean shorts off and climbed on top of me and just put my cock in her.  Hot tubs are not the greatest thing to fuck in, this is really true when it is -10 out.  SO, we moved inside next to the fire place.

 

Now that I think about it, how romantic!  She had me lay on the floor and she stepped over me into the 69 position.  I was naïve, while I had been beating off for about three years, my exposure to sexual things was rather meager.  She swallowed my cock and put her pussy in my face.  If I could go back in time...I would sit myself down the day before this happened and REALLY explain how to eat pussy.  I would have hidden behind the couch and giving myself the thumbs up, "Get in there ME!"  I would whisper.

 

As it was, I did not lick a thing, I casually plunged a finger into her...honestly, I almost want to messenger her on Facebook and apologize for being such a lame lay...

 

While I cannot remember how it felt I do remember thinking, "HOLY SHIT!  MY DICK IS IN HER MOUTH!!!"

 

We did move to doggie style right after, I think she was not enthused with my lack of oral skills.  Not related to fellatio but this was also the first time a girl said to me, "Put it in my ass."  Again, being EXTREAMLY naïve, I did not even fully understand what she had asked me to do...honestly, I was not MASSIVLY naïve, that I could have already been in her ass and I would not have known it at all.

 

I did not put it in her ass, I just kept fucking like a stupid little selfish teenager.

 

 

What did you not like about it in the beginning and what has changed over time?



Back to Fellatio:  My love for oral has developed over time.  Mainly due to the fact that I went over two decades without oral.  My spouse tries every now and then, as a gift to me, a duty fulfilled every couple of years.  meh..read my blog for the whole story.  Since I have stepped out I seek great oral.  That is one of the things I love(d) about (wait for it...) THE SPINNER!  Her dedication to oral stuff was outstanding...ruined me for life.

 

Over time I have learned to love control and going balls deep.  It does not happen often.  While I do not feel particularly gifted in the cock region, I have been told by enough people that I am larger than average that I feel it must be true.  Couple that with the fact that only 3 people have been able to take me balls deep in the mouth.

 

The most amazing and surprising balls deep experience happened with one of the tiniest girls I have ever been with (not the midget).  We were in 69, I am good at it now, she also had the cutest little butthole of anyone I have ever been with.  I heard it described once as a DSBH (Dime Sized Butt Hole).  Not to take away from the full spoke wheel silver dollar sized, they are nice, but DSBH's are rare and like all rare things, coveted.

 

She was another girl who is gifted in the oral skills, I believe it all starts with desire.  Like any sport, your hart has to be in it...and hers definitely was/is.  She was wet as a waterfall as I licked and suckled on her clit and wonderful pussy lips, when I felt her arch her back a little.  I pushed forward with my face (nose edging right on the DSBH) when I felt a LOT of pressure on the head of my cock.  While I like the pressure feeling a little, too much gets annoying.  I was not going to complain, however, nor will I ever when in that position.

 

So, pressure, arched back, me pushing forward into the wetness with my tongue and nose and I felt the velvet curtain open and I slipped into her throat.  She seemed to relax into it.  I dropped my head back and moaned (usually I am a little quite, years of training) she held me deep in her throat and moved her head around a little...had it gone on any longer I would have came.  She released with a gasp and turned around to grab the condom.  I wanted more, but I could feel her need to be fucked and I like to go with the flow.

 

The other memorable deep throat was with the Spinner.  We were in a hotel and she was giving me some expert head, as always.  I was on my back and she was between my legs, I great position as I get to see her great ass and legs (now I am missing her again...memories).  She lets me pull her head toward me, and she also likes to do the pressure on the back of her mouth thing.  We did it together and I slipped into her throat.  We were both surprised.  It was not for long, but she took a breath and we did it again.  I would love to try this again with her...one can hope...

 

Did your early experiences put you off in some way?

 

I can only guess what happened to my spouse.  She has never talked to me specifically about what happened to her.  She did state that there were many instances when she says men exposed themselves to her when she was young.  I believe there was something that happened with her brother also, but she has never talked about it and I have never pushed too much.  I offered consoling and she just gave me a dirty look.  So, there is something there.

 

I am the only man she has been with and she did grow up with a rather rigorous religion.  I cannot fault someone for not like oral for any reason.  I cannot fault someone for having hang-ups on sex in general...who am I to judge.  I can say that had I a crystal ball 25 years ago, I would have either done something different or not married her.  I could say that I am just as much to blame for not helping her figure shit out, but, I am not the most well adjusted fella and I have my own skeletons.  Either way at this point, she is not changing, and so far, I am not leaving.

 

I will skip a few of the questions as they are directed toward the cock-sucker, not he suckee.

 

As a recipient, is this something that you enjoy or are ambivalent about?

 

I enjoy it.  Is it always needed...no, but it is nice to get warmed up a little.

 

The biggest part of cock sucking for me is that YOU enjoy it as much, if not more, than I do.  If you are into it, then I am into it.  Enthusiasm can make up for lack of skill.  I would rather have an enthusiastic weird licking and trying with lots of smiles and big eyes, then a superb, well trained, polished, guaranteed to get you off, disinterested BJ.

 

Do you have a favorite way of being sucked?

 

Yes, I do.  Thank you for asking.  I like to stand, and face fuck while she is on her knees.  I like to hold her head as she licks my balls and I slowly jack myself off with her spit.  I enjoy either cumming on her face and in her mouth as I finish with my hand, or as she licks my balls and I cum down her back and let it drip to her ass...

 

Another is sanding next to a bed, her on all fours as she sucks me I use my hand to finger her wet pussy.  In this position I put my hands around her rib cage and thrust into her mouth, feeling her spit drip down my balls until I empty into her mouth.  Amazing...

 

Do you like to be deep-throated?

 

A little confession here.  When my spouse complained about cock sucking and gag reflex I said it is a matter of desire and conditioning.  She then said, "If it's so easy, you do it!"

 

I never said it was easy, however, I did, privately, use a cock shaped dildo (a rather stiff one) and over a few weeks of practice was able to deep throat it.  Is it comfortable...no...do I like it...well...not really...but not because I could not see the joy in it, more because I am rather straight and the idea of a real dick in my mouth does not do it for me (except for a few realistic dreams, but the person I was with kept switching from man to woman).

 

Point of the story...it is possible...you have to want it.

 

What tips do you have to control gag reflex?

 

I can't remember.  The biggest thing is to relax a little and just roll with it.  You are going to gag, your eyes are going to water, you might barf the first few times.  Do it with a dildo so you have control.  I would have to try again in order to give advice and I don't think I have the desire right now.

 

In closing, I will repeat what I have said before.  I want to be fellated but someone who wants to fellate me.  I do not like being blown because it is a duty, an obligation, a fucking favor.  I want to have to pull you off my dick because you just want to keep going and I just want to be inside you.

 

I like it when you are comfortable with you own juices, suck me between fucking me.  I am comfortable with my juice, I will kiss deeply if I cum in your mouth, no problem.  I will dine on you snatch at any point in the fucking process.

 

If you want to deep throat, do it, if you do not or cannot then that is fine.  Be enthusiastic and experiment...you just may find the next big thing!!!!

 

Happy Fellating!

Do you like yourself?

Self esteem...

Can you confidently cope with the basic challenges of life and are you worthy of happiness?

I have been thinking about this lately.  At some points I am more than confident in myself, I am almost brazen.  I know what I know and I know that I can handle any challenge that is presented to me no matter how challenging.  One can argue the method that I handle it, or how much it effects me...I wish I was not affected as deeply by some of the challenges I have faced.

I carry scars from the things I have been face with, we all do.  They have fundamentally changed me from the man I was to the man I am now.  I don't think the same any more.  I have trouble relaxing, I have trouble letting go.  I have trouble being happy.

I want happiness, we all do.  I want to feel worthy of happiness, I feel I deserve it...maybe...

I have been working on my coping skills, my reactions.  It feels like a reflex, like a doctor hitting me in the knee with that little rubber mallet.  In reality it is just lack of choice, or a choice that I unconsciously developed.  I get angry, I get sad, I get depressed, I get a feeling of hopelessness...I sink...I get silent...I sink further...and further...

Soon I am driving down the highway wondering two things...

1.  How hard would it be to just close my eyes and veer off the road.

2.  How hard would it be to just keep driving until I ran out of gas...

Neither option is a good one and I talk myself out of both.  I am not to that point any more, that point were I believe the best for those around me would be for me be gone.  I breath deep, try and put things into a universal perspective...we are all just specks of dust in the vast expanse of time and space...nothing really matters anyway.

I want to be that guy who smiles when the shit hits the fan...not in a rude way, just a "well, time to work," way.  The guy who laughs off a joke, defuses tension with a shrug of his shoulders.  Who is quick to hug and holds on long enough, and tight enough where you feel safe and loved.

SO, what is stopping me...where is my self esteem?

I am still looking...I will let you know when I find it...