An interesting twist

Life has been eventful these past few weeks.  Most of it stressful but most of it good.

To start, I am going bankrupt.  Chapter 7.

There it is...

The loans I had to take out were prior to the crash and were too big.  This area was hit too hard and has never fully recovered.  I have been behind on payments forever with no hope of catching up.  The bank who owns the loan will not negotiate at all.  In addition, I don't want to have to pay back that much money, I will never be out from under the debt.

So, we will protect my business by selling it.  That's right, I will no longer be the boss!  Hopefully the new owner will keep me on.  They usually do in my business.  I can then turn over the daily operations to the group which will free me up quite a bit.  I will also be getting paid more day one, which is a huge plus.

After we get the assets sold I will BK7.  Get rid of all that debt and be, relatively, free.

I am actually excited to get it done.  I have been struggling for the past 10 years and I could never find a way out of this mess.  No matter how well I did it was never enough to pay for everything.  At first I did everything in my power to pay all the bills in full.  I lost my house because of it.  I denied my family any extra money.  We did not go on vacations or anything.

I could not keep up, even with working 6 days a week.  The extra money was never enough to cover my costs and the debt payments.  I asked for help from my wife and she turned her back on me.  That was what really started all my extra activities.  I lost my mind and decided that I would carve out a small part of my life for me.  My old blog covered that journey, for better or worse.

The crazy has receded and I now find myself back into the high stress.  I am a little better at dealing with it, however, I still go from caring to not caring, which is not a good thing.  I am also lost in my relationship(s), wondering what direction I should go and not wanting to hurt or lose anyone.

The piper will come calling, eventually.  The loan will be due in a year or two and it is bigger now then they day I signed the paperwork.  I also just want out.  It is a good thing and I am happy about it, even though I am a little worried that things will not go as planned, but when do they ever.  I am going to trust in the direction I have plotted and make the best.  It is better than sitting in shit and praying for change.

To top everything off I came into work today and found that my assistant quit.  I have mixed emotions, as I was going to have to fire them anyway.  Ball dropping has become a regular practice and neither of us have been happy with each other.  I prefer things to end on good terms, but if things are good then people don't quit.  Additionally, by quitting she cannot claim insurance, which keeps my rates lower and saves me money.

I have to go to Las Vegas next week, I was going to bring a friend but they had to back out...so....I plan on having an adventure!  Hopefully I get to tell a great story when I get back!!!