The Fellatio Project - Peter's Answers

 

 

 

I like fellatio, so in an effort to support all thing fellated, I am participating in The Fellatio Project.  This is hosted on http://rebelsnotes.com/ so go there an check it out and maybe participate yourself.

 

I am choosing just to answer the questions that she has posted about fellatio...from the male perspective...well, more precisely the RECIEVING end.  I do not fellate...have not fellated...not ruling it out 100% but it would have to be one really special situation...I am straight (so far).

 

Have you always enjoyed cock-sucking or is it something that has had to develop?

 

I have always enjoyed it.  I am trying to remember my first time...I believe it was with the same girl that I lost my virginity with.  I did not get my cock sucked when I lost my virginity, I think my head would have exploded if I did.  It was later that it happened for the first time. 

We were in the hot tub and I was trying not to have sex.  I am not sure why, maybe religious guilt, but I felt we should not be playing around.  She was a real slut, slut...the kind of girl I have always been really attracted to.  We were kissing and petting and she pulled her cut off jean shorts off and climbed on top of me and just put my cock in her.  Hot tubs are not the greatest thing to fuck in, this is really true when it is -10 out.  SO, we moved inside next to the fire place.

 

Now that I think about it, how romantic!  She had me lay on the floor and she stepped over me into the 69 position.  I was naïve, while I had been beating off for about three years, my exposure to sexual things was rather meager.  She swallowed my cock and put her pussy in my face.  If I could go back in time...I would sit myself down the day before this happened and REALLY explain how to eat pussy.  I would have hidden behind the couch and giving myself the thumbs up, "Get in there ME!"  I would whisper.

 

As it was, I did not lick a thing, I casually plunged a finger into her...honestly, I almost want to messenger her on Facebook and apologize for being such a lame lay...

 

While I cannot remember how it felt I do remember thinking, "HOLY SHIT!  MY DICK IS IN HER MOUTH!!!"

 

We did move to doggie style right after, I think she was not enthused with my lack of oral skills.  Not related to fellatio but this was also the first time a girl said to me, "Put it in my ass."  Again, being EXTREAMLY naïve, I did not even fully understand what she had asked me to do...honestly, I was not MASSIVLY naïve, that I could have already been in her ass and I would not have known it at all.

 

I did not put it in her ass, I just kept fucking like a stupid little selfish teenager.

 

 

What did you not like about it in the beginning and what has changed over time?



Back to Fellatio:  My love for oral has developed over time.  Mainly due to the fact that I went over two decades without oral.  My spouse tries every now and then, as a gift to me, a duty fulfilled every couple of years.  meh..read my blog for the whole story.  Since I have stepped out I seek great oral.  That is one of the things I love(d) about (wait for it...) THE SPINNER!  Her dedication to oral stuff was outstanding...ruined me for life.

 

Over time I have learned to love control and going balls deep.  It does not happen often.  While I do not feel particularly gifted in the cock region, I have been told by enough people that I am larger than average that I feel it must be true.  Couple that with the fact that only 3 people have been able to take me balls deep in the mouth.

 

The most amazing and surprising balls deep experience happened with one of the tiniest girls I have ever been with (not the midget).  We were in 69, I am good at it now, she also had the cutest little butthole of anyone I have ever been with.  I heard it described once as a DSBH (Dime Sized Butt Hole).  Not to take away from the full spoke wheel silver dollar sized, they are nice, but DSBH's are rare and like all rare things, coveted.

 

She was another girl who is gifted in the oral skills, I believe it all starts with desire.  Like any sport, your hart has to be in it...and hers definitely was/is.  She was wet as a waterfall as I licked and suckled on her clit and wonderful pussy lips, when I felt her arch her back a little.  I pushed forward with my face (nose edging right on the DSBH) when I felt a LOT of pressure on the head of my cock.  While I like the pressure feeling a little, too much gets annoying.  I was not going to complain, however, nor will I ever when in that position.

 

So, pressure, arched back, me pushing forward into the wetness with my tongue and nose and I felt the velvet curtain open and I slipped into her throat.  She seemed to relax into it.  I dropped my head back and moaned (usually I am a little quite, years of training) she held me deep in her throat and moved her head around a little...had it gone on any longer I would have came.  She released with a gasp and turned around to grab the condom.  I wanted more, but I could feel her need to be fucked and I like to go with the flow.

 

The other memorable deep throat was with the Spinner.  We were in a hotel and she was giving me some expert head, as always.  I was on my back and she was between my legs, I great position as I get to see her great ass and legs (now I am missing her again...memories).  She lets me pull her head toward me, and she also likes to do the pressure on the back of her mouth thing.  We did it together and I slipped into her throat.  We were both surprised.  It was not for long, but she took a breath and we did it again.  I would love to try this again with her...one can hope...

 

Did your early experiences put you off in some way?

 

I can only guess what happened to my spouse.  She has never talked to me specifically about what happened to her.  She did state that there were many instances when she says men exposed themselves to her when she was young.  I believe there was something that happened with her brother also, but she has never talked about it and I have never pushed too much.  I offered consoling and she just gave me a dirty look.  So, there is something there.

 

I am the only man she has been with and she did grow up with a rather rigorous religion.  I cannot fault someone for not like oral for any reason.  I cannot fault someone for having hang-ups on sex in general...who am I to judge.  I can say that had I a crystal ball 25 years ago, I would have either done something different or not married her.  I could say that I am just as much to blame for not helping her figure shit out, but, I am not the most well adjusted fella and I have my own skeletons.  Either way at this point, she is not changing, and so far, I am not leaving.

 

I will skip a few of the questions as they are directed toward the cock-sucker, not he suckee.

 

As a recipient, is this something that you enjoy or are ambivalent about?

 

I enjoy it.  Is it always needed...no, but it is nice to get warmed up a little.

 

The biggest part of cock sucking for me is that YOU enjoy it as much, if not more, than I do.  If you are into it, then I am into it.  Enthusiasm can make up for lack of skill.  I would rather have an enthusiastic weird licking and trying with lots of smiles and big eyes, then a superb, well trained, polished, guaranteed to get you off, disinterested BJ.

 

Do you have a favorite way of being sucked?

 

Yes, I do.  Thank you for asking.  I like to stand, and face fuck while she is on her knees.  I like to hold her head as she licks my balls and I slowly jack myself off with her spit.  I enjoy either cumming on her face and in her mouth as I finish with my hand, or as she licks my balls and I cum down her back and let it drip to her ass...

 

Another is sanding next to a bed, her on all fours as she sucks me I use my hand to finger her wet pussy.  In this position I put my hands around her rib cage and thrust into her mouth, feeling her spit drip down my balls until I empty into her mouth.  Amazing...

 

Do you like to be deep-throated?

 

A little confession here.  When my spouse complained about cock sucking and gag reflex I said it is a matter of desire and conditioning.  She then said, "If it's so easy, you do it!"

 

I never said it was easy, however, I did, privately, use a cock shaped dildo (a rather stiff one) and over a few weeks of practice was able to deep throat it.  Is it comfortable...no...do I like it...well...not really...but not because I could not see the joy in it, more because I am rather straight and the idea of a real dick in my mouth does not do it for me (except for a few realistic dreams, but the person I was with kept switching from man to woman).

 

Point of the story...it is possible...you have to want it.

 

What tips do you have to control gag reflex?

 

I can't remember.  The biggest thing is to relax a little and just roll with it.  You are going to gag, your eyes are going to water, you might barf the first few times.  Do it with a dildo so you have control.  I would have to try again in order to give advice and I don't think I have the desire right now.

 

In closing, I will repeat what I have said before.  I want to be fellated but someone who wants to fellate me.  I do not like being blown because it is a duty, an obligation, a fucking favor.  I want to have to pull you off my dick because you just want to keep going and I just want to be inside you.

 

I like it when you are comfortable with you own juices, suck me between fucking me.  I am comfortable with my juice, I will kiss deeply if I cum in your mouth, no problem.  I will dine on you snatch at any point in the fucking process.

 

If you want to deep throat, do it, if you do not or cannot then that is fine.  Be enthusiastic and experiment...you just may find the next big thing!!!!

 

Happy Fellating!

Do you like yourself?

Self esteem...

Can you confidently cope with the basic challenges of life and are you worthy of happiness?

I have been thinking about this lately.  At some points I am more than confident in myself, I am almost brazen.  I know what I know and I know that I can handle any challenge that is presented to me no matter how challenging.  One can argue the method that I handle it, or how much it effects me...I wish I was not affected as deeply by some of the challenges I have faced.

I carry scars from the things I have been face with, we all do.  They have fundamentally changed me from the man I was to the man I am now.  I don't think the same any more.  I have trouble relaxing, I have trouble letting go.  I have trouble being happy.

I want happiness, we all do.  I want to feel worthy of happiness, I feel I deserve it...maybe...

I have been working on my coping skills, my reactions.  It feels like a reflex, like a doctor hitting me in the knee with that little rubber mallet.  In reality it is just lack of choice, or a choice that I unconsciously developed.  I get angry, I get sad, I get depressed, I get a feeling of hopelessness...I sink...I get silent...I sink further...and further...

Soon I am driving down the highway wondering two things...

1.  How hard would it be to just close my eyes and veer off the road.

2.  How hard would it be to just keep driving until I ran out of gas...

Neither option is a good one and I talk myself out of both.  I am not to that point any more, that point were I believe the best for those around me would be for me be gone.  I breath deep, try and put things into a universal perspective...we are all just specks of dust in the vast expanse of time and space...nothing really matters anyway.

I want to be that guy who smiles when the shit hits the fan...not in a rude way, just a "well, time to work," way.  The guy who laughs off a joke, defuses tension with a shrug of his shoulders.  Who is quick to hug and holds on long enough, and tight enough where you feel safe and loved.

SO, what is stopping me...where is my self esteem?

I am still looking...I will let you know when I find it...

The Sports Fuck

I think mentioned this in the past, however that blog was taken down and lost to the world forever.  This is not a repeat of that post, it is an entirely new post...at least I think it will be.  Who knows, my mind my just spew out the same stuff it did last time, who knows?

I call it Sports Fucking.  I am not sure if the term is mine or someone else's...most likely I stole it somehow.  Not a lot of original content here...sorry.  If I heard it or thought it, either way, I like it. 

Can we define it?

To have long and intense sexual intercourse which can be compared to hard training in gym, running, biking, swimming etc related sports.

Go out on Saturday, pull a girl and take her home. Have some sex with her. Next morning have some more sex and give her good ride for 1-2 hours until you are exhausted. This is sportsfucking. It can also happen any give day and hour, doesn't necessarily have to be on Sunday.

 

Straight from Urban Dictionary...

 

I miss it.  It is the kind of fucking that lasts for a long time.  You need a water break, to stand next to the air conditioner and let your head clear for a moment.  You do it in shifts, like hockey, except there is no second line...it's just iron man hockey.

 

It includes depth of penetration, speed and tempo changes.  Challenging positions, changeups, and aggression are all a part of a good sports fuck.  All body parts are included along with all body juices.  Done correctly you will leave stains and a little damage.

 

The most important part of a sports fuck is the partner.  There needs to be:

 

1.  Comfort with your body, sports fucking is generally done in a well lit room.

2.  Lack of inhibition, you need to be comfortable letting it all hang out in different ways.

3.  Either; pain tolerance or lack of painful positions.  This is a difficult one, if you hurt in all positions except missionary...then avoid the sports fuck.

4.  Stamina and/or multiorgasmic.  You either need to be able to cum over and over again (best option for a girl) or have the stamina to NOT cum for hours and hours (best option for a guy) or the ability to do both (the unicorn of sports fucking...stamina and multiorgasmic).

5.  Giving in to over sensation, what I mean is this...you have to be able to allow yourself to be stimulated WAY past your comfort zone.  Most people will push away when the sensation gets to be "TOO MUCH"...if you can just give in to that and let it wash over you...twitching and screaming...you will experience a high that you did not know existed.

 

You need time and space for a good sports fuck.  No interruptions...no worry of interruptions.  This has always been the hardest part for me...well...that and finding a partner that can and will sports fuck me.  I am usually limited to an hour...or two...due to funds.  Or I am limited in the space, it is hard to sports fuck in a car.  Or I am limited in interruptions, I usually have a place to be or someone expecting me.

 

Lately I have been getting back into shape.  With the comfort of my body and my athletic prowess coming back, I am ready for a good sports fuck...I just need a business trip and someone to do it with...

Edging...

Urban Dictionary Definition:
The practice by a man, with or without a partner, of maintaining a very high level of sexual arousal, as close as possible to full orgasm, over an extended period, without actually having a full orgasm. By using delicate control of stimulation and much will power to avoid a full orgasm, edging can include getting so close to full orgasm that ejaculate in significant quantity is released but the involuntary contractions do not take place (although up to say 3 contractions can be done deliberately each time to eject the released liquid in squirts, thus mimicking a real, but short, orgasm). This release, or "mimicked" orgasm, gives all the feelings of the start of a real orgasm but lacks the involuntary contractions, and it can be repeated several times until the supply of ejaculate is exhausted, or even beyond that point. After this "running dry", any real, final orgasm will be "dry" but otherwise normal. This amounts to multiple orgasms for men.

So I have been trying this lately, it's hard...literally and metaphorically.

There have been a few times when, toward the middle of the day, I have been bringing myself to the edge again...hard...stroking...feeling the building sensitivity.  It only takes a few strokes to almost get there at that point of no return so you have to really pay attention.  So, a few times I have been enjoying the feeling so much I do one or two more strokes...just enough to push me ALMOST over the edge and I STOP...

The feeling continues to build and I feel like my cock is on fire...the rush and pulse starts deep in me and no matter what I do I can't prevent it...cum starts to drip and flow from my cock.  If I do nothing then it feels good but it is just a short orgasm.  When it happens I feel like I have lost, I went over the edge...

When that does happen, if I grab my cock and finish myself off then I have a wonderful, long, full, explosive and orgasm with a big load of cum.  However, again, I feel like I have failed...I went over the edge...big time.

My goal...edge for 3 days...

Then have sex...

When I do this (I have done this before) I can cum three times in a row (little breaks).  I can even do four of five with an hours break...but then my dick starts to hurt...the third and beyond I have only ben able to do with my own handy work.

My ultimate goal...be in a hotel for an entire day with a girl and have us edge each other...all day long...nobody can cum...

Then at the stroke of midnight...we get each other off...and spend the next few hours doing it over and over.

Weird family stuff...Peter not included...

SOOOO.....

Weird family drama, luckily I am just a bystander...and I plan on keeping it that way.

I don't want to say to much, not that it really matters, but it would make me easy to identify to anyone close to me...and I like my privacy.

It is not on my side of the family anyway, it is my SO's family.  There is a divorce happening, not really surprised and not really upset over it...IF we were told the truth about the situation, which I am beginning to doubt.

A cousin and his long time GF invited the divorced party to live with them, while lives are rebuilt.  Very generous, very nice people...everyone involved is really nice.

With newly found freedom the divorced party took to...well partying.  It's been months we have watched it grow out of control.  Gently nudges have been rebuked...harshly...so we shut up.

Then....

A frantic phone call late at night,

A party gone on too long,

The GF had gone to bed,

Got up to get a drink of water,

Found the divorced one on top of her cousin...in the front room...

The fallout has yet to start but I believe FEMA will need to intervene by the time it is over...

I am staying the fuck out of it...

I hope everyone makes it out ok...

Getting the Itch again...

That itch...

It starts with just surfing around and looking on the internet, who is still out there?  Is it safe to play around?

There are plenty of girls willing to spend time with me for the proper consideration.  I find two that seem awesome.

The first I saw once a long time ago.  I thought she had quit, maybe just moved away for a while, but she is back.  Early 20's and amazing figure.  The last time I saw her it was one of the best times I have had.  She was suppose to be my farewell to the game.  HA.  She is tall, in amazing shape, skinny and muscles, small tits and a great ass...she is also very submissive...love it.  We spoke about 3 words but went like monkeys for the whole hour.

The other gal I have never seen.  She is also early 20's and is very short and petite.  I have a thing for the miniature women...lol.  Not midget sized, I have already done that, it was...meh...not my thing.  Like a little cheerleader or dancer.  I don't know much about her but she is highly rated and the place she advertises though is very upscale.

I am not sure if I even will, I have other things to spend my money on right now.  It is an expensive diversion and not always worth the time or money.  However, there are times when it is exactly what I needed.  A good release and something that I can reminisce on fondly in those quiet private moments.

The risk, while there, is not as great as it was in the recent past.  Additionally, going with the more upscale tends to be a little safer.  That is one of the things that keeps me from going hog wild, when the hammer drops, it is a big fucking hammer.

So, will I stay or will I go...only time will tell.  Not today anyway.  Today I will have to ease my pain with my tumblr and my fancy technique in self pleasure.

What I imagine it could be...

I am semi-happy...not content, not unhappy, but also not fulfilled.  The distance between me and my spouse is beginning to create a void.  While I crave connection and intimacy, I am not sure it is with her.  It used to be...but even in our closeness there was a sense of being "stuck" with each other.

The bridges that we build when we were younger and repaired over and over again have started to fall apart again.  We are not intimate, we do not trust.  We love but we do not lust.  Our passion is a chemically induced ruse.

When I think about what I want...I want honesty.  I want openness.  I want trust.  I want playfulness and laughter.

It would be easy to think that this could be found with someone else.  I see far to many divorced people and broken families that have not found happiness, just another layer of misery.  Occasionally I do see a couple who is happier after the split, better off...at least they look that way to me.

Much of the problem is directly my fault.

I own that.

I opened Pandora's box.  I experienced sex, drugs and rock and roll....and I liked it.  When you have the best sex ever it is hard to settle for anything else.  Why was it the best sex ever?

I have thought about this...what made it so special?

The fact that the person I was fucking was INTO it!  They wanted it...or they acted like they wanted it.  When my dick gets sucked by someone who WANTS to suck my dick, it is an entirely different experience.

They were open to anything!  Fun positions, 69, ball sucking, light choking, ass smacking, even a finger in the ass...they were open to it.  If they were not it was a gentle "no" and redirection into another pleasure.

Eventually with a couple there was a deeper connection.  This is where it gets sticky.  I felt a deeper connection, and I assumed they felt it also.  Even more of a problem, what then...a deeper connection without any hope of a life together...just forever cheating?

I imagine finding someone else, being open and honest, playful and fun, loving and trusting each other.  Wanting to hang out with them alone.  Having desire for them.  I miss that..