I came across this massive list of sex questions on Tumblr and decided to answer a few...to lighten the mood.
ABOUT YOU:
1. What is the size of you penis/breasts?
Are we talking flacid or erect? I am a grower not a shower so I am going to go with erect. It all depends on how you measure, tip to taint I am quite long. Traditional, from pubis to tip I am just short of porn star length. On a good day it can be 7" but I need to be lean. In my normal state I would say just over 6.5". A little above normal, seems to be my place in live.
Breasts, well...they are larger than I want them to be right now.
2. Does your penis have a curve?
No. I am rather straight. Pleasantly straight. I have been told I have an attractive penis and more than once been told that it is the perfect size, shape and mushroomness for maximum pleasure. They could have been just saying that but I choose to believe.
3. Have you ever had an STD?
I think so. When I was going crazy and fucking anything that walked I believe I gave one to my significant other. Nothing crazy...cured with antibiotics..but I think it was from me...I still feel rather guilty about that.
4. Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?
Yes...a few times. For a time I half believed that there was one other kid floating around out there that might be mine. Then I saw the pictures of him and...NOPE...no way that kid is mine. Also, the timing did not work out when I did the math.
5. What type of underwear are you wearing?
Boxer briefs...the best of both worlds.
6. When was your last erection/arousal?
When I woke up this morning I was hard as a rock. Morning wood...no other reason. When was I last aroused for a reason? Last night, looking at porn and rubbing one out. When was the last time I was aroused with another person? shit...that has been a while. When I was on a trip recently I woke up hard and my SO went down on me. I appreciate that she tries but she is a really lack luster BJ giver. That is also the only sex we have had this year.
7. Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?
I have no idea...I assume you mean while clothed...Nobody has told me. I am frequently hard at work because I will read sex stories in my office as I am waiting for my next client. GOD BLESS BOXER BRIEFS!
8. Has anyone seen your private parts other then yourself?
What the fuck is this...middle school? Shit loads of people. I have no problem getting nude and had even less of an issue with it when I was younger.
9. Explain your ultimate fantasy.
I win the lottery, get a divorce and take the spinner on a sex and drug induced world tour where we seduce other couples into group sex. Then we fuck on a beach somewhere...for days....
I am done...one mention of her and I already feel exhausted. I miss her and she is gone.
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