Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Low T and death

Someone close to me gave up the ghost last week.  I have to travel to plant them and support my family.  It’s difficult because I am not a big believer is ceremonies to put bags of meat in the ground.  I was not planning on attending but someone close called me on my bullshit and told me that the living need me there.  Funerals are for those left behind.

So, I get to dress up fancy and stand around eating jello and snacks while the priesthood does their sacred dance around the body of my friend.  I know the my family will use this as a reason why we should all connect and get closer together.  But here is the thing, except for my brother, I could do without them.  They are hyper religious nutbag, mean, judge mental assholes.  So, I will practice my stoic face and just drift through their bullshit and say goodbye to the empty shell of my former friend.  Hold the hand of the grieving and bugger out when their heads are turned.

I am also afraid of my sisters and their incessant need to take stuff.  None of his shit, and he has a BUNCH of priceless shit, is theirs or mine.  I don’t think that will stop them from laying claim because I have seen them do it before.  If they start to peck around I just may lose my shit.

His death hit me way harder then I thought it would.  It’s not been easy.

On a happier front, the big thing in my circle of friends now is Low T.  Everybody has it or thinks they do.  One guy did something about it and his energy level is amazing.  Now I want it so I can get me some.  I am going to line up some blood work to see if my old man balls are working right.  Low T can contribute to depression, which I am really good at.  I hate that I have a knack for making any sligh disturbance in my life plunge me into the bitter depths of dispare.  Maybe a shot in the but of man juice will help (ok, I see how that sounds).

Stay tuned.

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