Friday, March 30, 2018

A bunch of sex questions from Tumblr

I came across this massive list of sex questions on Tumblr and decided to answer a few...to lighten the mood.

ABOUT YOU:

1.  What is the size of you penis/breasts?

Are we talking flacid or erect?  I am a grower not a shower so I am going to go with erect.  It all depends on how you measure, tip to taint I am quite long.  Traditional, from pubis to tip I am just short of porn star length.  On a good day it can be 7" but I need to be lean.  In my normal state I would say just over 6.5".  A little above normal, seems to be my place in live.

Breasts, well...they are larger than I want them to be right now.

2.  Does your penis have a curve?

No.  I am rather straight.  Pleasantly straight.  I have been told I have an attractive penis and more than once been told that it is the perfect size, shape and mushroomness for maximum pleasure.  They could have been just saying that but I choose to believe.

3.  Have you ever had an STD?

I think so.  When I was going crazy and fucking anything that walked I believe I gave one to my significant other.  Nothing crazy...cured with antibiotics..but I think it was from me...I still feel rather guilty about that.

4.  Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?

Yes...a few times.  For a time I half believed that there was one other kid floating around out there that might be mine.  Then I saw the pictures of him and...NOPE...no way that kid is mine.  Also, the timing did not work out when I did the math.

5.  What type of underwear are you wearing?

Boxer briefs...the best of both worlds.

6.  When was your last erection/arousal?

When I woke up this morning I was hard as a rock.  Morning wood...no other reason.  When was I last aroused for a reason?  Last night, looking at porn and rubbing one out.  When was the last time I was aroused with another person?  shit...that has been a while.  When I was on a trip recently I woke up hard and my SO went down on me.  I appreciate that she tries but she is a really lack luster BJ giver.  That is also the only sex we have had this year.

7.  Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?

I have no idea...I assume you mean while clothed...Nobody has told me.  I am frequently hard at work because I will read sex stories in my office as I am waiting for my next client.  GOD BLESS BOXER BRIEFS!

8.  Has anyone seen your private parts other then yourself?

What the fuck is this...middle school?  Shit loads of people.  I have no problem getting nude and had even less of an issue with it when I was younger. 

9.  Explain your ultimate fantasy.

I win the lottery, get a divorce and take the spinner on a sex and drug induced world tour where we seduce other couples into group sex.  Then we fuck on a beach somewhere...for days....

I am done...one mention of her and I already feel exhausted.  I miss her and she is gone.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Low T and death

Someone close to me gave up the ghost last week.  I have to travel to plant them and support my family.  It’s difficult because I am not a big believer is ceremonies to put bags of meat in the ground.  I was not planning on attending but someone close called me on my bullshit and told me that the living need me there.  Funerals are for those left behind.

So, I get to dress up fancy and stand around eating jello and snacks while the priesthood does their sacred dance around the body of my friend.  I know the my family will use this as a reason why we should all connect and get closer together.  But here is the thing, except for my brother, I could do without them.  They are hyper religious nutbag, mean, judge mental assholes.  So, I will practice my stoic face and just drift through their bullshit and say goodbye to the empty shell of my former friend.  Hold the hand of the grieving and bugger out when their heads are turned.

I am also afraid of my sisters and their incessant need to take stuff.  None of his shit, and he has a BUNCH of priceless shit, is theirs or mine.  I don’t think that will stop them from laying claim because I have seen them do it before.  If they start to peck around I just may lose my shit.

His death hit me way harder then I thought it would.  It’s not been easy.

On a happier front, the big thing in my circle of friends now is Low T.  Everybody has it or thinks they do.  One guy did something about it and his energy level is amazing.  Now I want it so I can get me some.  I am going to line up some blood work to see if my old man balls are working right.  Low T can contribute to depression, which I am really good at.  I hate that I have a knack for making any sligh disturbance in my life plunge me into the bitter depths of dispare.  Maybe a shot in the but of man juice will help (ok, I see how that sounds).

Stay tuned.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Something needs to change

So, it is now almost March and I have not had sex this year.

It is the longest I have been without sex in about 10 years from what I can remember.  I can't blame anyone other than myself.  At home I have not even tried.  There is still a lack of attraction to my spouse.  Part of that is the weight she has put on and cannot get rid of due to her sedentary lifestyle and prolific wine habit she has developed.  We can't blame injury any more, she is all healed.

The other part is her personality changes or my reaction to her personality.  She just annoys me and does not turn me on anymore...ever.  Unless I take extacy or LSD or smoke a LOT of good pot...I really don't get excited by her.  It's frustrating, but I don't want to "try" and not be able to get an erection.  Or start having sex and lose my erection halfway through.  That is what has happened in the past and it fucks with her head and causes a huge fight for weeks.

Additionally, she never even tries to initiate sex.  This is not a new thing, she never has.  It is one of the main complaints that I have had for many, many years.  It has not changed in over two decades, why would it change now.  While she says she wants sex (well, she used to say that) she never starts it and usually declines when offered.  However she will say, "Yes, we NEED to have sex.  Lets schedule that".  Fuck you...I will beat off instead.

The girl I was seeing on the side for the past...holy shit...10 years now...the spinner, has been non existent in my life this year.  She is busy with...whatever she does all day.  And I have been busy with my life and not too excited to get caught in her web again.  It becomes endless hours of being strung along and sitting in cars waiting for a response.  Broken dates, broken promises...then a lot of complaining about everything under the sun.  When we do finally get to spend some NON crazy time together and talk or hook up it is quite amazing.  The emotional toll it takes to get there is exhausting.

I have thought about looking for another hook-up, someone else to have sex with but I can't seem to pull the trigger.  Part of that is financial.  I really don't want to spend money, I have too many other things I am trying to get rolling in my life and it is working.  I don't want to blow money on sex when I can apply it to debt and investments.  Also, there is just not anyone who really catches my eye right now.  Other than a little porn star who I realized lives in the same city as me and is looking for a sugar daddy, but I am not a big enough sugar daddy for her...I KNOW that it would not work out...she needs someone with SERIOUS money, and I believe she will find them at some point.

So, it is just me and my palm and pornhub for now.  I am trying to focus on other things.

I do have some out of town trips planned soon...to some cities with some rather good looking girls also.  So...maybe the drought will end?

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Next year it will all be different...

That is the hope of each new years, that the next year will be different, better...

I have made a lot of changes this year, fell into an old trap but clawed my way back out of it again.

I am enjoying planning for next year.  Personal, work, budget...everything.  I really want to make next year different and build on the changes I made this year.

Much of that change is with my personal life and those who I spend my time with.  I was happy being a family man and a good neighbor.  I lost a lot of that these past few years.  I also my have done some serious damage to my psyche and my relationships by allowing myself to be pulled into a long slow depression.

No more.

I am healthier and I plan on continuing that.

I am wealthier and I plan on building on that.

I see happiness and plan on taking hold of it.

The choice is mine...I understand that.  I need to make the choice and just BE happy.

Good luck to everyone...

Cheers.

Friday, December 8, 2017

TMI Tuesday...Thought I would do one today.

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One big mating dance

I got court side seats last night.  Right behind the bench.  Food and everything included.  It felt nice.

I also am sore as hell from my workouts, so I ate a little bit of a pot gummy, just to take the edge off the soreness.  It kicked in halfway through the game and I had a really nice light high going on.  I was REALLY watching the game closely and quietly.  Its funny how different sports are, yet they are all the same.  The big show that happens around a bunch of guys playing ball.  I was tripping on it.

At commercial breaks the dancers came out and I saw them as birds doing a mating dance.  I wondered if, in the animal kingdom, all the mating dances serve to not only attract a mate, but to turn on the whole population.  The songs of sex and the movements of sex that all the other birds see releases chemicals in their brains that makes dicks hard and pussies wet.

Are we the same?  I liked watching the athletic, firm, scantly clad young bodies bounce around.  It made my dick hard.  Do women in the crowd feel the sexual energy also?  I know the other men do!

The clothes we wear and the makeup and hair of women.  It's all a mating dance...

We are beasts in our fields, rutting...

Saturday, November 11, 2017

My old blog

I go back and read my old blog every now and then and cringe a little.  I really went off the deep end.  It brings back memories of that time and how little sleep I was getting.  Sleep is a really big deal with me, I must have it but I also dread going to sleep.  The old Night Owl/Early Bird combo that makes someone act bipolar as hell.

When you combine the drugs and prostitution you get a real fucked up situation.

I am not sure why I feel the need to look back at it, but I do.  I used to get a sexual high from reading it.  Then it turned into a reality check, looking back at all my shit.  Now it is just a little depressing.

I have been looking online at providers in my area again, not that I want to spend the money right now, even though I actually have it to spend.  I have other things I want/need to do with it.  However, a part of me still wants that special feeling you get from a hook-up.  That dirty little secret.

I also want mountains, beaches and time away without any pressures.  So, I save instead.

I want to feel more of a connection to life and to my family.

I want to feel less tired all the damn time.

One of the things that has helped me the most is daily meditation and frankly, I have not been doing that at all.  I just need to set aside the 20 min a day it takes to do it.  I can take a shit and play games on my phone for a half an hour, but finding a quite space for 20 min seems impossible...

No excuses...

I also want calm, sexual, thoughtful, playful and connected sex...coupled with food and wine...and a good smoke after...I am tired of crazy.