I know that many of you do not know anything about me.
When I read my blog, my current blog, it is not a representation of my journey.
I remember who I "was". The me before.
Honest, dedicated, a true man.
My father, who everyone assumed had cheated on his wife....did not.
My grandfather in law, who did cheat and admitted it...was forgiven for it.
Who do I respect. Who do I choose to be my hero...my guide.
They both represent a part of who I am.
One is dead, the other had a stroke tonight and lies dieing.
My life is a shithole of complex drama that I am sick of. I want to quit it all...
My most true love I have betrayed...
I am not the man I thought I was.
If I could go back 10 years and face myself, I would punch me in the fucking face, I would in a heartbeat.
I can't live with myself anymore.
3 comments:
Peter, I don't know you that's true but this post is very worrisome. Are you okay or do you need help?
Thank you for your concern. I had been drinking after some bad news, never a good combo.
The only help I need is how to find myself again...
It's funny whey you get what you always wanted and find out it is not what you thought you were going to get...
I am in the process of extricating myself from a situation that I put myself into, and it is not easy...someone will always be hurt...
Sorry to sound so dramatic.
So sorry to hear my old blog friend.
I hope there are better days ahead. As much as I enjoy what we do, I find absolutely no relief, no rest, no escape in our jobs. So find what peace you can and good luck w all the lies ahead.
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